im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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