I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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