Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
