nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
