why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
