ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
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