How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
