We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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