How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
