no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
