if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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