Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
