dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
