sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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