My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
