i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
