1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
