im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
