I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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