im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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