Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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