I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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