Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
