woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
