all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
