she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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