Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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