nut hugger
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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