David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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