I like to think it a success when the cops are called
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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