How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
