I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
