Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
