Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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