So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
