Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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