wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
