Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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