Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
