I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
