He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
