That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
