ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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