Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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