I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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