So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
His nipple licking is glorious
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