I must be too annoying 4 u.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
