Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
