Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
