11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
