I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
