You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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