In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
