kristin has been a bad kristin
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
