we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
