this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
