You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
