I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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