She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
