Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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