Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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