you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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