he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's rum buckets o'clock
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
