Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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