well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Are we still banned from the library?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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