woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
