I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize